Guys, I have a confession to make. This weekend, I had a bit of a dramatic meltdown. There were tears, there was some listless lying around starting at the wall, there were some thoughts about making a blanket fort, moving in, and never coming back out.
Nothing terrible happened. In fact, it was really the opposite: my side business continues to grow by leaps and bounds. Everything has happened so incredibly quickly – I only started trying to make money in November of last year – that I didn’t realize I had established and built a legitimate venture until I realized the prospect of full-time work was staring me straight in the face.
Of course, that’s not what triggered a freakout session. It was the fact that I already have full-time work, via what one of my clients jokingly refers to as my “big girl job.”
I was feeling both frustrated that I couldn’t immediately drop that big girl job, and terrified by the thought of actually getting to drop the role of employee and fully take on the role of entrepreneur.
I’ve been working hard for months with the intention of maintaining both my 9 to 5 day job with my business for as long as possible. And I was terrified to realize that “as long as possible” is no longer some vague, too-distant-to-be-firmly-defined point in the future I continually referred to as someday.
It’s, you know, now.
Or it realistically could be, anyway. I’m still wanting to maintain both as long as possible for several reasons, the biggest being I want to make absolutely sure the business I have created is sustainable and the real deal – versus a flash-in-the-pan type thing. I also want to shore up our cash savings before making the leap to full-time self-employment, so if things go way far south we’ll be okay for a little while until work picks back up or until I can go back to being an employee if that’s what needs to happen to make sure we continue to stay financially afloat.
So there were lots of emotions jumping around vying for attention, and instead of taking a deep breath and just dealing with one thing at a time, I turned to my usual coping mechanism: shut down, freak out, get even more emotional about all the things.
But what followed was lots of talking with my support group – my husband, a few close friends, my parents. That, in turn, allowed me to clear out my crazies, refocus, and start planning. No sense in worrying or stressing. The only thing to do is to make it happen.
I need to continue to refine my time management and my productivity. I need to prioritize the tasks that are important to me and eliminate the stuff that doesn’t offer me the happiness and value it should for the precious time I’m exchanging for it. I need to understand that the days of working 12 to 15 hour days are temporary (and that some people still manage to work even more hours than that, and their situations are not always temporary). I need to stop allowing my current 9 to 5 to frustrate the heck outta me and just calmly work through what I absolutely have to there as I appreciate the fact that it’s offering me benefits that only come from an employer.
I also need to remember that the only walls that hold me back are the ones I build myself. Impossible is nothing.
What challenges are you currently facing – financially or otherwise – that you’re working to overcome?